He had always wanted to look out the window like the other guy who would get the chance to.
He wanted to know what was going on outside, he wanted to see it with his own eyes but he couldn’t because as unfortunate as it could be, he was bed-ridden due to a fatal accident that had happened eleven months ago.
“Accidents happen, it’s life.” That’s what Do Kyungsoo always said to himself when he hated how he couldn’t walk, how he couldn’t see the outside world anymore and how he couldn’t enjoy the fresh spring breeze.
“Life has it’s way of ups and downs…guess mine decided to stay down forever.”
Kyungsoo’s feet would tingle once in a while to touch the cold marble ground but all he could do was look at it and sigh. His gaze would soon shift over to the blank, pale yellow wall above but it would only greet him with a sad hello. He would then close his eyes and wait for a particular person’s voice to ring his eardrums. His voice, it was the most calm and serene thing he had ever heard after coming here, to this hospital.
There was a mixture of loudness but comfort in his voice. Like sea waves that soothe your mind once they clash with the huge, granite rocks.
How much he anticipated that voice…he couldn’t fathom himself.
“Hyung, afternoon.” Said the smoky voice and at once, Kyungsoo’s eyes shot open only to see the man named Kim Jongin.
“Are you doing well today?” He asked with a smile and Kyungsoo replied with the usual answer, “Of course, I am.”
Jongin wasn’t like any other patient in the room Kyungsoo was staying in. He wasn’t old, he wasn’t annoying, he wasn’t impatient, he wasn’t reckless and he wasn’t bed ridden like the rest of them including Kyungsoo himself.
However, he was ill.
Everyday, for exactly an hour, Jongin would sit up straight from his bed to remove the fluid from his lungs, and everyday, for exactly half an hour, he would describe the things he would see outside the window to the yearning Kyungsoo.
“The sun’s in a shade of orange today but it’s mixed with a little purple as well. There’s a boy who’s crying because his green balloon has flew off into the cloudless sky. The flowers have bloomed today and between the bunch of red roses, there has born a white one.” And just as Jongin would describe each thing, each movement as precisely as he could, Kyungsoo would close his eyes and imagine them. He couldn’t smell the roses but he could recall it. He couldn’t see the cloudless purple sky but he could imagine it and he couldn’t see the boy crying but he could remember his childhood when he would cry over a petty little blue balloon that had left the grasp of his fingers when he was eight years old.
Everyday was a gift for him. A gift only Jongin could give.
“The colorful butterflies having different patterns; some wavy while polka dotted are surrounded by the dark green bushes. It’s a sight you have to see Hyung.” Jongin chuckled, “Maybe one day you will. You have to. Don’t give up yet, okay?”
And Kyungsoo only nodded. He was too busy living the fantasy of the reality Jongin was dictating.
A tiny ball of tear couldn’t help but drop from the corners of his eyes.
“Hyung, there’s a pretty girl outside with long black hair. She has blue eyes, almost as blue as the ocean and the sky alike. Her skin is as white as the cotton field and her body as slender as one could be.”
Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and months passed and as much as Kyungsoo would try getting rid of the illness karma gave him, there was no way he could get rid of it.
The nurse approached Jongin since it was time for him to remove the fluid and once again, the Kyungsoo who had been hungry to know more about the outside world, waited for his friend to project him the naked reality.
However, Kyungsoo noticed a sudden change in the nurse’s expression. Her once cute looking face had now turned into a horribly terrified one. Her once flat forehead was now filled with wrinkles of despair and her once beautiful smile was now covered in sadness.
Kyungsoo’s eyes were stuck on the nurse when eventually, his gaze shifted to the person with the voice like a fallen angel. His eyes were closed and his body had turned a little darker. He had the faintest smile on his face, he had the faintest happiness draping over his soulless body.
Kyungsoo was grieve-stricken. He never knew such a young boy his age could pass out so quickly. That he could be gone by the minutes, that he could be away from the world by the seconds.
The nurse gently covered Jongin’s body with the white sheet and left the room with distinct sniffs.
“Jongin…” Kyungsoo called out on impulse but soon tight-lipped his mouth because he knew he wouldn’t get a response from him. He quickly shifted his gaze towards the other side and let those tears fall on his tiny, weak shoulders.
Kyungsoo requested the nurse to shift him to Jongin’s place. To where the window was and the nurse gladly obliged to do it. Though, she left the room for a moment excusing herself that she had forgotten something.
The yellow, pale wall once more said hello to Kyungsoo but this time, he didn’t want that. He didn’t want a greeting for a wall, instead, he wanted the outside world to greet him with the butterflies, the roses, and the orange but with a tint of the purple sky.
Kyungsoo–with all his strength and might– forced himself to prop up from the bed. He was unsuccessful the first few times but he never gave up.
Even though the pain became more excruciating by the minute, Kyungsoo endured it and finally he managed to sit up straight. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Kyungsoo thought and doubted himself as to why he couldn’t think this earlier.
With a deep painful breath, he slowly turned his head to the window with a fancy smile stuck on his face because he couldn’t believe that he was, at long last, going to see the outside world with his own eyes instead of Jongin’s. That he didn’t had to remember or recall or imagine anything anymore.
As quickly as he smiled, it was as quickly as it faded away. Outside the window, there was nothing but a plain wall of a building.
Where was the purple sky? Where were the butterflies? And where were the roses?
There was nothing. Just a dirty, plain wall.
Kyungsoo heard the faint gasp of the nurse and immediately turned around to her. Her eyes widened upon seeing tears in the latter’s eyes but she was surprised as well upon seeing his posture.
“There’s…a wall here?” Kyungsoo softly asked only to make the nurse’s brows furrow in confusion.
“There was always a wall here.” She said.
“But…Jongin used to tell me about the sky and about the boy who used to cry because he would always lose his balloon and about the roses…between the bunch of red roses, there had born a white one…”
“Kyungsoo…I don’t know what you’re talking about but,” She paused for a mere moment before speaking again, “Jongin was blind.”
Kyungsoo never sat again or at least he never tried to.
What was there to sit for anymore? There was no outside world, there was no sky, there was no Jongin.
“How funny…” Kyungsoo thought.
Just to make him happy, just to give him the slightest happiness, Jongin would shun away his illness.
Just to make his day better, he would forget about his weakness.